Holy Shenanigans, I’m thinking what would happen now if I were to write the Concerning Hobbits section for LOTR. I would completely disgrace the book with my shameless admiration of these pitiful creatures. Oh, but they are amazing.
You might think it strange that I am fascinated by hobbits (or you completely understand, in which case you’ll be nodding your head throughout this whole spiel). But let’s take an analytical glance at these tiny beings.
From a purely biological viewpoint, hobbits are some type of man. This implies that they will participate in the second song of the Ainur along with the other Secondborn of Iluvatar. They share in the gift of men (death), but their lifespan is extended while their stature is diminished. It is not explicitly explained how hobbits came into the realm of Eregion, but all that is not important and only interesting to LOTR nerds like myself.
What really makes hobbits so unique is their lifestyle and desires. “In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort.” They live comfortably. Why? Because they desire peace and simple happiness.
They eat two breakfasts. Seven meals a day total. Why? Because that makes them happy and they don’t care about being fat. (They also don’t seem to suffer from sicknesses that come from obesity, probably because almost all the food they eat is home-grown vegetables and fresh-caught meat. Not to mention their obsession with mushrooms)
They have practically no government. Why? Because they’re libertarians! (Oh, I don’t want this to get too political so I won’t talk about the politics of the Scouring of the Shire) The Shire is “ruled” by the Thain, a hereditary title bestowed upon the Shire’s leader (Pippin became the Thain at the end of the Return of the King). The Thain’s actual function is unclear, but he does have something to do with the defense of the Shire. The Shiriffs keep the peace, but it seems that the appeal for the job is to travel and to get to know everyone. There’s not much need for them to be concerned about crime, because hobbits are sensible folk. They stick to what is good, and when the Shire did fall into bad times and needed saving, the hobbits got up and saved it, even if they needed a bit of convincing from more adventurous people.
They sit around and smoke. Now, aside from the health factors of smoking, I like to focus on the sitting around part. The smoking is just a type of pleasure accompanying the sitting. At the end of their simple day, they want to reminisce on a good day’s work, a life simply lived, and whatever the frack their plans are for the future (excuse my Caprican).
You might think it strange that I am fascinated by hobbits (or you completely understand, in which case you’ll be nodding your head throughout this whole spiel). But let’s take an analytical glance at these tiny beings.
From a purely biological viewpoint, hobbits are some type of man. This implies that they will participate in the second song of the Ainur along with the other Secondborn of Iluvatar. They share in the gift of men (death), but their lifespan is extended while their stature is diminished. It is not explicitly explained how hobbits came into the realm of Eregion, but all that is not important and only interesting to LOTR nerds like myself.
What really makes hobbits so unique is their lifestyle and desires. “In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort.” They live comfortably. Why? Because they desire peace and simple happiness.
They eat two breakfasts. Seven meals a day total. Why? Because that makes them happy and they don’t care about being fat. (They also don’t seem to suffer from sicknesses that come from obesity, probably because almost all the food they eat is home-grown vegetables and fresh-caught meat. Not to mention their obsession with mushrooms)
They have practically no government. Why? Because they’re libertarians! (Oh, I don’t want this to get too political so I won’t talk about the politics of the Scouring of the Shire) The Shire is “ruled” by the Thain, a hereditary title bestowed upon the Shire’s leader (Pippin became the Thain at the end of the Return of the King). The Thain’s actual function is unclear, but he does have something to do with the defense of the Shire. The Shiriffs keep the peace, but it seems that the appeal for the job is to travel and to get to know everyone. There’s not much need for them to be concerned about crime, because hobbits are sensible folk. They stick to what is good, and when the Shire did fall into bad times and needed saving, the hobbits got up and saved it, even if they needed a bit of convincing from more adventurous people.
They sit around and smoke. Now, aside from the health factors of smoking, I like to focus on the sitting around part. The smoking is just a type of pleasure accompanying the sitting. At the end of their simple day, they want to reminisce on a good day’s work, a life simply lived, and whatever the frack their plans are for the future (excuse my Caprican).
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